The Game Plan

I have thought a lot about my life and I am trying to figure out what works. What have I done in the past that has had a positive outcome. I have lost a lot of weight time and time again, but it always came back. I need to stop the loss/gain cycle.

I am going to start meeting with a trainer two times a week. I need two things, accountability and results. I want to get back into the habit of going to the gym and working out. I am also going to cut a lot of sugar and carbs out of my diet and I am going to have smaller portions. This is going to be a harder task than going to the gym. I live in Texas, I love chips and salsa. To be honest, I love chips. With anything. I think this is going to be a good start.

Plus, I need a tan. Tanned skin does wonders for my attitude.

I have a lot of issues...

grasping at straws

So, I almost made an appointment to see a doctor about HCG injections for weight loss. There's a lady at work who is doing it and she is losing a pound a day and it seemed to be the perfect solution. I talked to Ben about it, which had me in tears, and after he did some research he asked me not to since it's not FDA approved. I am to the point of panic about my weight. My dad's side of the family has a history of diabetes and kidney failure and I am scared to death that it's going to happen to me. I want a quick fix, I need instant results but I don't think it's going to happen. I feel a little bit better about things this morning. I made a big salad for myself for dinner and once the kids were in bed I put myself to bed. I am going back on South Beach and I will just have to be patient. I am going to start working out with a trainer a couple of times a week and I will just have to be patient. I have to keep telling myself that it's going to take some time to change bad habits into new ones and in the mean time this fat body is going to have to get to work.

I don't know how many people, if any, still read this blog but I am determined to keep this journal up to date. I want to be able to look back at this post and see the desperation that I was feeling. To remember what it was like so that I don't have to do it all over again. I can't keep gaining and losing weight.

To the people that do still read the blog, I apologize for the sudden "reality blogging" but I need a place to say what I want to say. You can't always go around spewing verbal garbage at everyone because you're in a bad mood. SOOOO, that's what I am using this for. I need to complain here, whine here, cry here, and then I will be okay and then things will start to get better.

It's one day at a time.

more trouble

So, my car is in the shop again. We went to visit the in laws this weekend, in two cars, and when I got there the car just started draining radiator onto the driveway. I was mortified. How were we all going to get home?? How much is the repair going to cost this time?? After Ben and Ron worked on the car for the rest of the afternoon to try and pin down the problem, they decided to put everything back together and drive it down the road to a repair shop. the shop was closed but they called the owner and he said he would take a look at it today. I am praying that he gets to fix it by end of business today because this carpooling thing stinks. I hate having to ask people to rearrange their schedules to come get me in the morning and to drop me off in the evenings. I have a work trip scheduled for Wednesday and I definitely don't want to drag things out until then.

FB is getting on my nerves too. People just don't need to air their dirty laundry on there. To me it's a place to just put a blurb out there to your friends. Keep them in the loop about what you're up to. Let's get real. Most of the people on there are just distant relations or acquaintances anyway. They don't care to delve into your personal business.

I am really at a loss about my weight. I think I am to the point where I need medical assistance. I have adjusted my diet and have started walking but I am not seeing any results. I need to see something to keep me motivated. I am becoming desperate and I am looking for other options. I hate to admit that I have gotten to this point in my life, it's embarrassing to me to be around my friends and coworkers.

I am not normally a negative person but the weight literally weighs me down.

YES!

two miles at lunch! Yay me!

What has happened??

I don't know when the last time was that the family has been this sick!

A couple of weeks ago we were all sick with one powerful stomach bug. We were out of commission for a good 5 days.

Ben has had a cough and sinus problems for a while now. It all started just before the bug came for a visit. He was sick with the bug, then got better. Then, he had to travel for work. I made a doctor's appointment for him on Thursday and it wasn't good. He had to have a chest xray because the doctor was so concerned. It turns out that he has pertussis, borderline pneumonia, ear infections, and a sinus infection. For those of you that don't know, pertussis is also called whooping cough and is super contagious. He was exposed to this somehow and because his DTaP wasn't up to date, he got it. He got a booster shot at the doctor's office and a powerful antibiotic. Tomorrow will be the third day on meds and he seems to be doing worse! The doc will be called again first thing Monday to see what the next step is. Please keep Ben in your prayers. If you don't know, he's a smoker and I am afraid that it's catching up to him. I just want him to quit, but I know it's not an easy thing to do.

It's all about Easter

Here are a few pictures from our Easter egg hunt this morning.